…and did I make it the title of my new Facebook photo album? Because “Welcome to the real world” is overused? Maybe. No shame. Ok, maybe a little.
Ugh, GUYS. I’m getting OLD.
I am no longer the sweet*, innocent** 21-year-old I once was. I hit the big 2-2. That’s like, big. I have been drinking*** for A YEAR. Crazy.
***omg JP plz stop I can’t take this madness
I was fairly torn about how to celebrate my birthday. It was a Tuesday, so karaoke was a given, of course! But, was it still socially acceptable to wear a giant number cutout around my neck and a tiara and body glitter?! I took a quick poll of my Tinder matches (the Wikipedia of real life) and they said I should probably just go out naked. Having been through the rigor of the IB program, I performed additional research and consulted my roommates (the Factiva of real life) and they said nah to both of the above options. Instead, I made a list based on the T-Swizzle song itself!
Let’s go through this in order:
- Dress up like hipsters – I put on a fugly button headband I made in middle school when I was o-b-s-e-s-s-e-d with Paramore, wore it for Snapchat purposes only, then took it off
- Make fun of our exes – Done sitting around our kitchen table, drinking heavily
- Breakfast at midnight – toss up between this French Toast thing I was served at La Tasca happy hour, and the cheese fries we later devoured at Whitlow’s
- Fall in love with strangers – at karaoke, two men approached my roommates and I. Lexi convinced one of them to serenade me. He chose “From This Moment On.” He thought it was the Faith Hill song. It was the Frank Sinatra song. He knew neither the words nor the tune. He was half my height. He held my hand the whole time. It was an uncomfortable three minutes. Actually, unsure if I would call this love. Maybe this is where I should put the cheese fries.
- Forget about the deadlines – unsure if I had any in the first place, so I obviously did an extra good job of this one
- Keep dancing like we’re 22 – If that means hitting the quan, I hit it HARD
- Ditch the whole scene – at 1 AM when I got cheese fries? Yup
- Forget about the heartbreaks – wait, what happened last Thursday? Who’s that guy? Check, check, check
Here’s to another year of sending unartistic snaps!!!