Bruise Cruise Pt. 1: Peace Up, A-Town Down

Hello from the skies over Atlanta! I’m heading back to DC after a week-and-a-half long vacation to Georgia, Tampa, and a Carnival Cruise. I’m tanner, slightly fatter, and have a lot of laundry to do – all signs of a good trip? I would say so.

My trip began two Thursdays ago with an afternoon flight from Dulles to Atlanta. Ami so graciously picked me up at the Atlanta airport in rush hour traffic (thanks, friend!) and we were off! Evan and Cameron picked us up from Ami’s apartment after a quick dinner of yogurt and frozen veggie stir fry (#college) and we set off to trivia.

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Trivia went smoothly – good beer, good team name (Sweatpants Boner forever), and great friends. We lost pretty horribly, but that was just another reason to drink. Most importantly, I convinced Robert to adopt me the next day while Ami was at work.

I settled into my wildly uncomfortable futon-bed and fell right to sleep, just kinda noticing the hard metal springs stabbing my back and legs.

Friday began bright and early as Evan and Cameron picked me up to head over to the boys’ house for breakfast before Evan’s first class. Chef Robert fixed us scrambled eggs, fruit, and sausage, which was great! I could get used to people cooking for me every morning. We said goodbye to Evan, then hung out at the house a bit longer before completely giving up on Dekle waking up in time to hang out with us. His loss, we’re awesome.

We made a quick pit stop at Walmart to buy a frisbee, then headed out to the Georgia Tech Campus to throw the frisbee around. After a few tosses that sent Cameron scrambling across the road to catch the errant disc, I finally warmed up and improved my shot. We settled into a nice tossing rhythm, at a pretty slow pace because it was ridiculously hot and humid outside.

Sufficiently sweaty, we wrapped up frisbee and headed to Tech Rec for some bowling. Dekle finally emerged from his bat cave and joined up with us for some bowling. How I have gone bowling more times in the last month than I have in the last 10 years of my life is beyond me, but it has not helped my form one bit. On our first (ridiculously cheap) game, Robert (Big Papa) outscored us all by about 100 points, while I (Bar Wench) came in a pitiful last place. The lane operator was thoroughly amused.

By the time our second game came around, I was out for blood. Robert was determined to get his spin shot down, which helped us all out significantly in the score department. Dekle was ahead, and kept telling me to “follow through” on and “add some spin” to my shots. Okay, coach. The joke was on him, though – I got a strike and a spare in the 10th frame, propelling me to the lead by one point. Dekle had a chance to come back, but hit two gutter balls in his last frame. I emerged victorious!

After signing a few autographs of awed Tech students, the boys pulled me away to play a game of doubles ping pong. In the battle of Cameron (Lone Wolf) and Dekle (The Champ) v. Robert and I, there were no winners. We were all ashamed. Evan showed up to watch, eat Chick-Fil-A, and laugh at our hardships. We gave up after about an hour and moved up to the food court to grab lunch and ‘shoot the shit,’ if you will.

Sufficiently sated, Robert made the executive decision to move back to the boys’ house to play beer pong. Slowly but surely the whole gang showed up once Evan finished class and Larissa, Ami, and Reed got off work. Many rounds of beer pong followed, and no one could take down Robert. He is unstoppable. I made a mental note to add “beat Robert in beer pong” to my bucket list.

Hungry from the intensity of our drinking games, we went to Hankook for Korean tacos. I enjoyed my fried chicken taco and pork dumplings over a lovely dinner conversation about sex and poop. Notably, Evan’s poop. This is normal.

Post-tacos, it was time to rage. Having stocked up on beer, mixers, and liquor earlier in the day, we all headed back to the boys’ house, where we were joined by Anna and Jacob. First order of business: margaritas (thanks, Ami!). Cameron also convinced me to face my arch nemesis, Pinnacle whipped vodka, which is actually very delicious mixed with orange soda but still reminds me of my 19th birthday when it killed me. Thanks to these two delicious beverages, I was feeling very happy.

The great philosopher Ke$ha once said “the party don’t start til people start boxing in the front yard.” My friends, if you have never drunk-boxed at a party, then you need to reevaluate the quality of your friend groups. Almost all of us strapped on gloves a pair at a time and let some punches fly. It’s a great bonding experience, especially when you get punched in the chin multiple times. That really got the party going, but we didn’t stop there – why just box, when we can also tase? That’s right, Ami got out the taser that her sister bought her, and we headed to the backyard to tase Robert’s butt. Twice. It was fun and a great moment for the Snapchat story.

The rest of the party is kind of blurry, and dotted with your standard party fare. Dancing, a game of ‘Tits,’ more beer pong, crumbling pretzels on the floor, Ami trying to take a nap on the kitchen floor. Eventually Evan drove us back to Ami’s, and we fell fast asleep, praying to not be hungover for the next day’s tubing adventure.

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